the chef has been on a whirlwind tour of local restaurants and hasn't posted in awhile. i'll let you know what happened later on but first i want to talk about hot bitches. there are two buildings in my apartment complex, the one i live in and the one all the hot bitches live in. when i go out to my car and look to the other building i see hot bitches coming out, i see hot bitches going in. in the summer i see hot bitches drinking beer on their balconies and whenever i'm going out somewhere i see hot bitches down by the pool [whenever i actually go to the pool it is empty though]. i know the other apartment smells like purfume and pussy, like mine smells like curry and mothballs. when i moved in i wonder if the odds were 50/50 that i would get the builidng without the hot bitches in it, or if they were 100% that whatever building i moved into the hot bitches would be in the other one. that's just the sort of thing the chef has to put up with on a daily basis.

movie review wednesdays - at first i thought i didn't have any movies to review, because i've been watching the nfl combine non-stop for four days, it's just guys running back and forth. it's really boring actually, but i can't stop watching regardless. at first i thought i would just review my new running shoes instead - they have a tongue issue, fucking vans, but then i remembered that i finally got round to watching tropic thunder last week, so i do have something to review after all. here goes - it was pretty good.

as i said before, the chef doesn't spend all his time in the kitchen. once in awhile he lets others slave over the hot stove [or unwrap the cheese slice, as the case may be] for him. here's some pointers i've picked up in my latest culinary adventures in...

recipe of the day - these will actually just be recipes for avoiding eating out disasters. 1 - every fourth visit to taco bell [about once every week and a half], skip the drive thru and actually go into the store, order your food to go, and then head over to the condiment counter. proceed to fill up your food bag with as many packets of hot sauce as possibly can fit without it splitting. when you get home, store for future use. this makes up for all the times the fuckers will skimp you, or forget all together at the drive through. 2 - for those of you who don't live in southern ontario, fast eddie's is a macdonalds clone. the difference being there is about ten times the amount of grease in all their products. there is usually enough grease on top of the buns alone to give an aspirin a heart attack. this is great for taste and hangovers, but is lousy with stink. as it's a drive-thru only place, you car will be saturated with the smell of fried grease by the time you get your food home. to prevent this lingering odour always remember to leave your car windows open at least two inches overnight, no matter what the weather. this might help with the smell. 3 - always go the liquor/beer store before going to the fast food restaurant. this ensures you get home faster once you buy your food, and you won't smell like fast eddies/taco bell when buying your booze.

words of the day - 'can i have three bean burritos and a cheese fry'