there is a very miserable woman who lives in my building. not the kind of miserable as in 'i'm overwhelmed by existential angst' but more as in 'i'm an unpleasant bitch'. i see her going to work in the morning and she is miserable. i see her coming home at night and she is miserable. when i see her in the laundry room she is miserable, and when i run into her at the mailbox she is miserable. once, while doing laundry i tried to make eye contact with her, just to see if a friendly 'hello' would cause her to smile. but she wouldn't stop looking at the ground in misery. sometimes i think 'she's probably miserable because she's lonely' other times i think 'she's probably lonely because she's so fucking miserable'.

shit-kicking mondays

1 tony kornheiser. how this no talent hack and his tabloid like gossip mongering made it onto monday night football i have no idea. he is the single most useless personality on tv and knows nothing about the game he is supposed to be commenting on. maybe before next football season i will start another blog for the sole purpose of letting the world know each and every week of his idiocy. look at these shoes you fuck.

2 the miserable woman. see above.

3 piglet. from winnie the pooh. if piglet was real, i'd love to kick the shit out of him.


you know the old bad comedians joke about how hot dogs come in packs of twelve but the buns come in packs of 8, and you always end up with extra hot dogs [this shouldn't happen in reality, as the raw wiener is incredibly versatile when it comes to recipes, but whatever] this is for the second time round, when you've bought another pack of buns and have some of them left over instead. you know what i'm talking about, it's.....

recipe of the day- so you're out of meat, you've scraped the peanut butter jar clean, and you've run out of no-name cheese slices [shame on you]. check your cupboards again my friends, you can probably still make 'the meatless crunchy dog'. this requires a left over hot-dog bun [there should be at least one in the bag that doesn't have too much mold on it] and whatever remains of that bag of bar-b-que chips you forgot about. step 1 - scrap the mold off the hot dog bun and pry apart. step 2 - put as many of the potato chips as you can in between the two halves and squash together. if there are crumbs of chips left now is the time to eat them - consider them an h'ordeurve. step 3 - eat over the sink [i will explain this step at a later date].

words of the day -'take down the fear, and madness comes in to dance and feast'