so i was bored and thought to myself i would give e-harmony a try.  it only took about 1/2 an hour. and i honestly tempered some of my responses (as i'm sure everyone does) so as to appear somewhat normal to potential matches.  20 million registered users, and here is the response i got:

We're very sorry, but our matching system cannot predict good matches for you.



eHarmony's patented matching system was developed after extensive research into marital satisfaction. We use each person's responses to our Relationship Questionnaire to predict the pairings of individuals that are highly likely to result in satisfying long-term relationships, based on what we learned through our research.
Unfortunately, based on responses to our questionnaire, we occasionally find situations where our matching system cannot identify high quality compatible matches, and this has happened in your case. Please understand that it is a result of our matching process and in no way reflects on you as a person or your ability to be in a happy relationship.
We apologize and regret our inability to find good matches for you. The time you spent completing our questionnaire, however, has enabled us to provide you with a free Personality Profile.. This Personality Profile lets you learn more about yourself and should provide you with valuable insights.

well, at least they didn't write "FUCK YOU LOSER" at the end.