i can't sleep and i can't drink to help me sleep, so i'm here to do some blogging.

'le bon dieu, when he created woman was aware of all the dangers she'd present. but i'm told that she herself insisted he create her the way she is, with all those charms, for what man would be willing to court all that trouble for nothing' -dostoevsky

i was ruminating on this, and came to the conclusion that a lot of men would court that trouble. we men are actually pretty disgusting. to say nothing of charms, i've seen fellows crawl through vomit to put up with the shit of some real bestial pigs of women. i don't know why, but it has something to do with the hole. men can't seem to resist a hole. why, if there was a pile of cowshit on the ground with a dick sized hole in the middle of it, you can bet there is some man somewhere who would try and fuck it. i mean dirty real pussies aside, men fuck rubber pussies, indentations in their mattress, roles of paper towel, children, and the cloaca's (egg shoots) of chickens. da fug!?
the chef has overcome these urges in the past with copious amounts of alcohol, but since i'm having trouble drinking lately, chickens of the world beware.....

i'm not eating much lately, so instead of my own recipe i'll speak of one that brings a tear to the eye of the chef, i'm so proud that someone else knows where i'm coming from so i don't have to suffer alone for my art. here we go....

recipe of the day -

so it's tough times in 17th century germany. food is scarce, and our poor fraulein has to make supper for her papa when he gets home from chopping wood in the black forest. she goes to the pantry and there ain't nothing there but a rotting cabbage and half a bottle of wine. not much one can do with that, unless one is a true culinary artist. so she chops up the cabbage in a bowl and pours the wine over it [genius, pure and simple]. when her papa gets home she puts the bowl in front of him, he tastes it, and says.... 'what the fuck is this vile shit'. our fraulein thinks to herself 'boy, that is one grumpy german' the translation for which is 'sauer kraut'. and so is born perhaps one of the greatest foreign dishes ever devised by man. but hey, like the sham wow guy says, germans always make good stuff'


a little while ago wizard of oz and return of the jedi happened to be on tv in the same week. i was looking at the munchkins and ewoks, and figured they were both portrayed by 'little people' but noticed there seemed to be a subtle difference between the two. it brought to mind a poem i wrote some time back. and hence....

poetry thursdays-

dwarf or midget
which one is taller
which one is wider
which one is smaller

dwarf or midget
which is more wee
which one has to stand
on his tip toes
to pee

dwarf or midget
starboard or port
one ain't so tall
and the other is short

dwarf or midget
pro-choice supporter
one is short
the other is shorter

dwarf or midget
i just don't know
if one is less high
or the other one low

dwarf and midget
put then on racks
and stretch 'em out
til you break their backs.

KAAZOOOOW!

words of the day - 'everything is permitted'