i hear people are buying micheal jackson music like it's going out of style. but the truth is, it already went out of style, that's why you didn't buy it before. do you really think it's gotten better because he's dead. those mp3 downloads aren't going to be worth something someday.

i shouldn't judge however, i bought seventeen packs of oscar mayer weiners [two of bolgna] after i heard that tragic news. what to do with all those hotdogs. maybe i'll have a bath and just let all those hotdogs float over my body whilst musing on the transendental nature of our existence.

shit-kicking saturdays -

1 pigeons - 'look at me, i got no arms, i'm just gonna take a shit on this statue' there's reason enough. though i gotta admit it would be liberating to be so relaxed about shitting like that. say you're just walking through the mall one day, you gotta shit, no need to look for a toilet, you just let it run out down your leg like no thang and go about your business. save a bundle in asswipe.

2 other birds - you're gonna die anyway, 'cause you keep getting hit by cars. you can fly you dumb fucks, fly over the cars, not in front of 'em.

3 plato - thrasymachus should have booted imaginary socrates in the nuts. there's your justice according to the mighty.

4 raccoons - why, my fury little friends, must you always be dead on the side of the road. much like the bird, you are one shit dumb animal.

you know, i've been driving for twenty years now. once in all that time i hit a bird because it flew in front of my car. who the hell are these people who are constantly hitting cats and deer and raccoons - they gotta be doing it purpose.

recipe of the day -

the chef's stomach is experiencing some problems, so all i'm eating these days is cheese slices in hamburger buns and bananas. tonight at the ti-cats game i will eat a 6 dollar pretzel [it's not as impressive as it sounds] - you know, for variety sake.

this dude is living the dream:


words of the day - "Being a hotdogger has so many perks, that sometimes it feels unreal. I’m so excited to partake in this journey and spread miles of smiles across the country. I love smiling and having fun, and being able to do this on a daily basis is a very overwhelming feeling. Meeting new people everyday, and making them smile when rolling into town with a 27 FOOT LONG HOTDOG is a very memorable experience. Look forward to sharing my stories while traveling coast-to-coast on this wiener roast."*

i gots to give that guys blog a shoutout, even though it's a commercial site -
http://hotdoggerblog.com/